Archive for category Funny

The Fray Coming To MSU…F^CK

So to start off this school year with a bang (/s), ASMSU is bringing you the Fray for the highly inflated price of $35.50! WTF…I really would like to be apart of this group or something, because they bring a lot of garbage…Though they do bring a lot of awesome bands (KoL, Death Cab, Lil Wayne, OK Go, Wilco, and in years past: Muse, John Mayer and some others), they also bring a lot of shit…For those of you actually interested, go to this link and get all the info you need.

Eminem vs. Mariah Carey

Eminem straight dominates Mariah Carey in his new diss track. Apparently Mariah is denying they ever dated or some shit and she dissed him in her video by dressing like him or something…

Here are the lyrics to Slims song:
Only reason I dissed you in the first place is because you denied seeing me
Now I’m pissed off
Sit back and relax homey, kick back and relax, grab a six pack while I kick facts
Yeah Dre’s sick track, perfect way to get back
Wanna hear something wick wack?
I got the exact same tat that’s on Nick’s back
I’m obsessed now
Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee
Wow Mariah, I didn’t expect her to go balls out
Bitch, shut the fuck up before I put all them phone calls out you made to my house when you was wild n out before Nick
When you was on my dick and give you somethin to smile about
How many times you fly to my house? Still trying to count
Better shut your lying mouth if you don’t want Nick finding out
You probably think cuz it’s been so long if i had something on you I woulda did it by now
On the contrary, Mary Poppins, I’m mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud
Enough dirt on you to murder you
This is what the fuck I do
Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?
However you prefer to do and goes for you too, Nick, faggot
You think I’m scared of you?
You gonna ruin my career you better get one
Like I’ma sit and fight with you over some slut bitch cunt who made me put up with her psycho ass over 6 months and only spread her legs to let me hit once
Yeah, what you gonna say? I’m lucky? Tell the public that I was so ugly that you fucking had to be drunk to fuck me?
Second base? What the fuck you tell Nick, punk?
In the second week we was dry humping. It’s gotta count for something.
Listen, girly. Surely you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted early cos ejaculated early and bus all over your belly, and you almost started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you’re stomachs curling. Or maybe you do.
But if I’m embarrassing me, I’m embarrassing you and don’t you dare say it isn’t true.
As long as the song’s getting airplay I’m dissing you.
I’m a hair away from getting carried away and getting sued.
I was gonna stop at 16. This is 32. This is 34 bars. We ain’t even a third of the way through.
Damn, Slim. Mariah played you. Mariah who?
Oh did I say ”whore”, Nick? I meant a liar too.
Like I’ve been goin off on you all this time for no reason.
Girl you out ya alcholic mind. Check ya wine cellar. Look at all the amounts of wine.
Like I sit around and think about you all the time.
I just think this is funny when I pounce you on a rhyme.
But it now i’m about to draw the line.
And for you to cross it that’s a mountain that I doubt you wanna climb.

I can describe areas of your house that you wouldn’t find on an episode of Cribs
A blubba load ribs if I hear another word so don’t go opening your jibs cos every time you do it’s just another load of fibs
I ain’t saying this shit again, ho. You know what it is.
It’s a warning shot for before I blow up ya whole spot
Call my bluff and I’ll release every fucking thing I got
Including the voicemails right before you flipped your top
When me and Luis were tryin’ to stick two CD’s in the same spot
(Slim Shady I love you)
I love you too
Let me whisper sweet nothings into your ear, boo. Now what you say?
(It’s nothing)
Guess what I’ll do?
I’ll refresh your memory when you said ”I want you”
Now should I keep going or should we call truce?
(You think you’re cute, right? Hahaha)
You bet your sweet ass I do
(I’m Mary Poppins, b)
And I’m Superman, mmm
(Mary P. Slim Shady)
Comin’ at you
So if you’ll still be my (babygirl)
Then I’ll still be your (Superhero, Wilma M.)
Yeah, I’m right here
(You like this)
Nope. Not anymore, Dear.
It cuts like a (knife) when I tell ya get a (life)
But I’m movin on with mine
Nick, is that your (wife)
Well tell her to shut her mouth then I’ll leave her alone
If she don’t (sing this script?) then I’ma just keep goin
(I see Mary Ann. Mary Ann’s saying ”cut the tape, cut the tape”. Knife!)

I would post a link to the song, but I’m at work where it’s blocked. The music isn’t what’s important…It’s the lyrics that matter…It’s hilarious!

Let the Battle Begin!

P.S.
I hope she keeps talking shit because I wouldn’t mind Slim leaking the pictures he purportedly has…

Wait…This is why girls don’t like me?

Chris Brown ApoLOLogizes

For all you Bloc Party Fanatics – a boombox…

Dom and I were perusing the local UO, when we found the boombox from the new Bloc Party music vid…it costs like $229. Ouch

Nice Res for a phone...has iPod hook up, SD card, and all sorts of goodies

Nice Res for a phone...has iPod hook up, SD card, and all sorts of goodies

Swashbuckle – Cruise Ship Terror

I stumbled upon this today and I felt it necessary to share it with you guys.  Swashbuckle describe themselves as “Pirate Metal;” which is essentially thrash metal, the main difference being they sing about canons, scurvy and the like.  The song is off of Back to the Noose, which is set to be released on 8/4/09.

The video depicts a modern day girl on a modern day boat when she spots a pirate ship (the cool kind, not the Somalian variety), and well, you’ll see.  Even if metal isn’t your cup of tea, you should still be able to get a chuckle out of this.  Proceed with caution though: the song is a bit on the heavy side.

Beware: Jimmy Fallon Post

If you don’t like Jimmy Fallon, don’t watch. If you do like Jimmy Fallon, do watch. If you’re ambivalent about Jimmy Fallon, but could use a laugh because your day has got you feeling a bit down, do watch.

LOLparty v.1